Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris
Holidays on Ice has become one of my favorite holiday traditions. I have an uncanny ability to unintentionally pick up books about war and torture, which is problematic enough during the rest of the year, but around the holidays I’m just not in the mood. Nor, however, do I want to read sappy crap about puppies that save people’s marriages or other lame-ass Christmas miracles. Holidays on Ice always fits the bill.
It’s a collection of David Sedaris’s holiday-themed short stories, many (all?) of which are plucked from his other books. Anyone who’s ever barfed over a Christmas letter will delight in the parody “Season’s Greetings to Our Friends and Family!!!” And anyone who’s suffered through an elementary school production of any kind will find a kindred spirit in “Front Row Center with Thaddeus Bristol.” But my favorite story of all is “SantaLand Diaries,” Sedaris’s hilarious reflections on the winter he spent working as a mall elf.
So, while I will always encourage you to buy one of my books to give to everyone on your list, you really can’t go wrong with this one either. Whatever you read, boycott torture for the season. Happy holidays!